THE BEAUTY OF AN AWAKENED MALE. I want to be a person that loves with everything inside of me. I want to love with honesty, vulnerability, and most of all courage. I want to make the effort to know another person’s story and trust them with mine. I don’t want to let my fear of rejection, of embarrassment, or of getting hurt keep me trapped in a world of loneliness. I will never know if I never try just how possible it is for things to work out. Just how deeply I can heal when things fall apart. And just how wonderful it can be to give all of myself to another person and have them do the same with me. Love is a choice. Every time I wanted to be chosen, I wasn’t. So my heart caved in and I became scared to try again. Scared to have yet another person tell me I’m not the one for them. Scared that I wasn’t worth being their choice. I still have those fears, but my dreams mean more to me. There is someone in this great big world who is walking down their path just as I am; they are looking for someone to choose them back. I believe that if I make the effort, if I am brave and vulnerable, if I continue to try despite my fears that one day we will choose each other. We will be that someone for one another that we’ve been searching for. Love doesn’t just happen in an instant. I have to put myself out there. I have to talk to that person, and get to know them for who they are and not who I want them to be. I have to reveal my heart to them, and respect that their heart might not feel the same way. I have to think of their feelings as well as my own. I have to try with no guarantee of the outcome. I don’t know the inter workings of love but I believe love is two people choosing each other every single day in the light and in the darkness of this life. Love is two broken, imperfect human beings committing to intertwine their stories together. Love is taking the time to understand each other. Forgive one another. Love is being there when it’s hard, when it’s uncomfortable, when they aren’t very lovely, when the feelings fade, when you are tired, and when you are scared. Love is a choice, and I won’t lose hope that one day the person I choose will choose me as well. I’m going to be brave even when I’m trembling. Even when the words are hard to speak. Even when I’m unsure of how to proceed. Even when it doesn’t work out. Even when it hurts. Even when… I’m going to choose to try because doing nothing is too sad to me. It would break my heart more to never try than to know I’m not the one. Knowing I’m not the one for them only brings me a step closer to the one I’m searching for. I want to love with a genuine and courageous heart. I want to share my life with another person. I want to know the insides and outsides of another human being’s story. I want to be the person that never leaves their side. The person that encourages them to achieve their dreams. The person that holds their hand when life is bitter. I want to love like that, day by day, with the person who chooses me at my worst and at my best like I choose them. This good love, I am going to believe it will come, that we will find one another. That we will choose each other again and again no matter what comes our way.